Position Summary We are seeking a brave, highly flexible, and unapologetically enthusiastic Adult Novelty Crash Test Dummy. In this role, you will boldly go where few corporate employees dare to go. Your mission is to put your body on the line to separate the "Oh, wow!" from the "Oh god, call an ambulance!" You will push medical-grade silicone to its absolute physical limits, ensuring our products bring joy, not a trip to the local emergency room. Key Responsibilities Field Testing: Subject your anatomy to rigorous, intense, and highly repetitive quality control testing of various shapes, sizes, and questionable ridges. Suction Cup Analytics: Slap prototypes onto walls, floors, and refrigerator doors to test the structural integrity of the suction cups under maximum horsepower. The "Flop" Evaluation: Shake every product vigorously like a wet pool noodle to measure density, bendability, and overall structural confidence. Spill & Splash Management: Evaluate the splash-radius, cleanup time, and stain-resistance of various body-safe materials under heavy-duty conditions. Vibe Checking: Ensure that when a product claims it has "earth-shattering power," it does not actually cause localized tectonic shifts or blow a fuse in your apartment. Qualifications & Requirements An Iron Will (and Pelvis): Must possess an exceptionally high tolerance for weird shapes and neon-colored plastic. A Literal Poker Face: Ability to maintain absolute corporate professionalism while describing a 12-inch neon-green monster to the engineering team. Excellent Vocabulary: Must know at least 47 different synonyms for the word "pleasure" to avoid repetitive corporate reporting. Medical Clearance: A clean bill of health, an understanding of anatomy, and a strictly cooperative relationship with your pelvic floor muscles. No Shame: If you are easily embarrassed at the family Thanksgiving dinner table, this is not the career path for you. Perks & Benefits Unlimited free inventory (your nightstand drawer is about to be worth more than a used Honda Civic). Comprehensive health insurance (including premium chiropractic care and emergency extraction coverage). Work-from-home forever (seriously, please do not do this at the office).